Tucker Carlson wants to tell you something

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Author screen grab. Source: Fox News 20/01/2021

Fox News celebrity Tucker Carlson swears that he would never judge anyone by the colour of their skin. Not really.

Having gone on record too many times to count, Carlson accused Black Lives Matter advocates of being a ‘mob’ and pointed out that immigrants make this country ‘dirtier.’ But exceeding the eloquence of his many hate filled speeches was his acerbic commentary on Joe and Jill Biden’s appearance at the inauguration ceremonies, asserting that now “from their loins we are born and reborn.” Joe and Jill Biden are White people. …

Since when were intelligence and leadership ever a prerequisite for public office?

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Author derivative. Source photo: Walmart.com

When BARBIE© hit the market in 1959, she cost $3. But don’t be fooled by the low sticker price. Adjusted for inflation, that’s $29 in 2020.

Which reminds me.

The SDNY has been making some threatening noises about a certain other Barbie’s inflated invoices to her Daddy’s GREAT AMERICA SUPER-PAC for so-called ‘consulting fees.’ Mister Cyrus Vance seems to think that’s improper. Actually, it’s worse than improper. It’s a felony, although given the insane fuckery of the Trump years, I’m not so sure it’s even a misdemeanor anymore, or anything more serious than a parking ticket.

Now your conventional Barbie©…

I’ll admit to creep-stalking my Ex on Facebook.

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When she came back into my head, I decided to use the memories as model for the protagonist in one of my novels-in-progress and, as characters often do, she literally wrote herself into the story. I always Google the names of potential characters beforehand, kind of like a title search before buying a home. You want to know who might hold a lien on the property before committing to the purchase, though it’s not like Natasha herself ever belonged to me, or to anyone.

The most worrisome thing is that there are…

An udder disaster

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Image credit: Megumi Nachev on Unsplash

The Great White North is normally a peaceful realm of dark forests and endless frozen tundra.

But now these much-too-polite Canadians are rushing from their igloos and log cabins and trailer parks in angry revolt. Consumers have discovered that their butter no longer reverts to puddles of oily gloop at room temperature like it used to, but instead remains solid, and they want to know why.

At the heart of the Buttergate scandal is the Canadian dairy industry’s use of cow feed supplements that contain palm oil. Julie Van Rosendaal reports in The Globe and Mail that half the dairy…

Use the handy sustainability index

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Image credit: M.H. from Pixabay

I hate the word ‘sustainability’.

Why? Because it has sexual overtones. Like “How long can he sustain an erection?”

Years ago, I used to worry about that. I learned early that scoring depends a lot on how well one carries the ball toward an ever-shifting goal post.

I also hate the word sustainability because it smacks of ‘corporate speak,’ the verbal equivalent of a blank stare. Corporate speak is the idiom that CEOs and professional politicians use to make their employees and constituents think they’re in the know, as if what they did were so esoteric and complicated that only…

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Photo credit: Freedigitalphotos

Natalie recalled her golf coach’s advice about teeing-off.

“Step up to the tee and address the ball.”

“Hello, ball,” she muttered, sotto voce. She shuddered at the very thought of sand traps, water hazards, trees and shrubs, and the so-called ‘rough’ were small, and sometimes not-so-small, boys searched for lost balls to sell back to the golfers.

“Wanna buy it back?” he snarled. She didn’t really. But the kid looked so menacing with those close-set, beady eyes and pointy snout like an ugly ferret and the swastika tattoo that decorated the jugular vein in his neck and the fire red…

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Image credit: Maria Orlova from Pexels

In the first week of October, Jacob Mortillaro booked passage on the French steamship St. Nazaire sailing from Genoa to New York via Marseille and Gibraltar using the money that his friend Manufredi had wired him. He caught the morning train at Termini Station in time to put himself on the Genoa waterfront by nightfall.

As her husband changed trains at Florence, then Viareggio and La Spezia faded into the distance, Anna Mortillaro gathered whatever family heirlooms she could find and delivered these to the nearest pawnbroker. Over the next months, she would make more visits to this small, bearded…

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Photo credit: Viacheslav Bublyk on Unsplash

This short story represents Chapter Two of the unpublished novel The Cranesbill. For Chapter One, see A Gentleman Always Lifts the Seat.

Ginger Martin stared through the open sash at the potted plant she’d placed outside on the fire escape. It was a small cranesbill with furry green leaves and a clutch of emerging redbuds in a terracotta pot that the flower shop clerk had gifted her on the previous afternoon. Afterward, she’d visited the public library, where a horticultural guide suggested cranesbills were associated with stupidity and folly. She should talk to her cranesbill, the attractive and friendly shop…

Now that MAGAts have acquired a taste for blood, they won’t be so kind in 2024

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Photo credit: Anton Darius on Unsplash

I watched the January Sixth Rebellion in real time, from its inception at Freedom Plaza, to the ignominious assault on the Capitol buildings, to Nancy Pelosi’s indignant rebukes of a gloating president. There was never but a single thought in my own mind.

This is the end.

I mean ‘end’ as in the final page of a great book that you just can’t put down or the last reel of a film you hoped might never end. The end of everything.

Why? Because when you clutch an all-powerful remote in your paws and nobody can take it from you, it’s…

The COVID-19 crisis in schools is destroying teachers

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Photo credit: Marian Mileeva on Pixabay

If you’re a teacher reading this, then you have my thanks and also my sympathy.

A newly released Canadian education survey cites a wide range of new challenges to teachers and school administrators because of the global COVID-19 pandemic. Survey results include responses from 1173 schools from across Ontario, including 906 in-person, 226 hybrid (in-person + online), and 41 virtual (online) schools.

The most distressing takeaway is the fact that both teachers and principals are reaching the ends of their tethers. They’re about to break from trying to manage the unmanageable.

“The physical running of the school has been quite…

Francesco Rizzuto

Everyone’s favourite Emmanuel Goldstein. Lives in LaLaLand. Top Medium writer in government and LGBTQ. Chills at www.francescorizzuto.com

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